Some Pages Turned, Some Bridges Burned, But There Were Lessons Learned

              So lately i don't know what to do with myself. (Bam, Bam, just don't know what to do with myself.) I feel nervous and lost because i don't have a summer job yet and the fact of the matter is I have bills and a new found love for all objects material. And with my new found D in English 430 (God Help Me!), I have a belly ache that won't quit. Btw, I'm still so upset at that D that i've hiden the paper and have REFUSE to look at it. Meanwhile my friends say that I shouldn't bitch because I have a good relationship and haven't had my heart broken as of lately.
             I've also been partying as of late, to mask the fact that i have no moeny and no job. Not only that the anxiety of going to be planning a wedding in which i have no money but still want to obtain the dream. I know once my future hubby gets in gear with the job hunt and the job we will have the money to put away for that cause. The fact of the matter is that I have been soo independent in this relationship it is going to be difficult to put away the making -money-paying-for-everything-drea. My Defense and pride is being ripped apart in this process so much that it's tearing me apart and causing me undue stress. I realize that for all of my wacky-weirdness I was in a love affair with that freespirited can't tie her down girl and now I feel as though she has an Rest In Peace plaque on top of her metaphorical grave.

This is from the Myspace journal post of Miss Regina Spektor
While i think that the Israeli and Palestinian issues is a tough one and that problem is far bigger then
any one side or issues, i feel that her statement is intelligent and impressive and it portrays the way i
feel about this world situation!



Friday, January 16, 2009


Eretz Yisrael



Israel



When i realize how many times i decided not to, before i decided to, write this - i see why this is such a frightening time.When a Jew who loves Israel, who has been there, has played shows there, has visited there with family, with friends, feels this way, you know the fear is in you . As if Israel- the word itself, is so igniting, so dangerous, that it is better held inside.



There have been times like this before. Roughly 60 years before. And if people think that now is any different, they are mistaken. It's just that enough time has passed. And it seems it is our turn again. But when hasn't it been our turn...



Israel has been shelled. It has been hit with rockets for years. Years. Manchester, St. Louis, Leon, Munich, Copenhagen, Detroit, Madrid, Brisbane, Leeds, LA, Tokyo, these cities are not. But if they were, God forbid, their governments would be completely authorized and in the right to fight back.There is no government in the world that would not protect its citizens from attack. That's unlawful. And it's not sticks and stones, as many of my friends and relatives who live in Israel know. It's rockets. Is one of these things not like the other? Are there different laws and rules for a Jewish government? If you prick us do we not bleed?

(  More Regina Opinions.. )

I've been super busy with all the happening going on in my life. There was the Bachelorette Madness...

( The Madness )
I'm sooo happy for my friend Nicole this was the happiness that she deserved because.
And this......

( The Rock )

Gotta be happy for my self too. Its a big step but he is the ONE.

Tomorrow school starts and i'm kind of excited but i hope that i get all my classes because i registered late. lame. meanwhile i have no money because i'm saving up for something BIG!!!!! So big i can't tell you guys...cause someone will kill me. I might be able to spill the beans this December which will mean that the beans will be on the floor and the cat outta the bag. In others words no fun for me for a long time. Grrr!







Weird things.

    Leave it the the summer to teach you who your real friends are and leave it to the summer to challenge everything you know. For me and camp well same old drama only with new people that i thought would never be caught in that bullshit. Which has been giving me the general feeling that all of my closest friends are going to abandon at one point or another and that makes me bitter. To which i pose a question... what the FUCK is up with people not staying true to themselves or their friends? Do infleunces really sway opinion that MUCH?  I know i have been the same dork since day 1, uncomprimisingly dorky and honest. I don't wanna do something i don't, i go for what is best for me and at the same time would give away my last two times for a true friend.

    Times with me and Tom were again rough this summer and i think its because its harder for us to be apart. Our probelms? I'm Fucked if i know... it goes something like this:

Me: I can't call you i feel like i get in trouble for not callling you sooner.
Him: You forget about me when your in camp.
Me: I call you when i'm HAPPY!
Him: Do you call me when you get in to town?
Me: Your the thing i think about most every night!
Him: You call me and then fall asleep right away.

Long story short Relatiosnhips are TOUGH! Hmmph! But things are good no that we have both had days of kissies. :D

My brother PheeLOP are closer then ever thanks to the douche bag of an ex-girlfriend he had





( YES.. you voyeur ) P.S: I Love Abby, Chirstine, and Nicole. They made my summer or what was left of it.

So tomorrow i go up to camp... I'm already missing my tommy because it going to be a long time before i see him again... For those of you who do long distances relationships(namely..Nicole) you know that this is a tough one. But otherwise im excited for my BROWN RAG.. which has been long overdue because Goose has been totally lax.


Weird Stuff has happened in the last couple of days. And other then finals i guess there is too much of it to write in one post. Or perhaps too complicated. So finals... shit... I'M sooo glad thats over.



So there is no Tomatoes at Jack in The Box as of late.... yeah i know know... WHAT an outrage.


I don't  know... But anyways here's to drinking in the woods.

I want to be apart of this club. PLEASE.

So I'm typing to you from my shmanzy pants brand SPANKING NEW laptop! eep with joy! Also i have a IPod to accompany it. Who said hard work doesn't pay off...?!

Yup....Finals are a BITCH! Thats about it. nothing new.....other than I saw SEX And The CITY!!! Woot! best girly continuation of a series EVER! Lots of sex and eye candy. Drinking cosmos wasn't bad either.

( Lookie Here )


Amazing I know...

I just.. can't help it. I feel like shit. You know the shit where you wanna cry for just no reason and nothing makes sense because the only sanity you have left its like four weeks away.....

i have my lovely boyfriend and it sucks because he doesn't know what to do to make me feel better.. except let me ditch class once in a while. It doesn't matter anyways i have a handle on most of my classes and what ever i do. But then i get all internal and emotional and i have like this huge part about me that needs to be sooo FuCkING FRIENDLY To EVERYone.

And So i just end up regreting things that aren't even in my fault.

Also there was an Interdisciplinarity dance/ theatre performance at school.

" Can YOU hear ME now?"

"Take my picture, I am a FUCKING Sexy BEAST!"

"MYSPACE!"


As you may have guess its those crazy people that bounce around and call themselves performance artists.

( Crochet case )

    A smart person once told me "you know Drea, there are people in your life that are mentioned a sentence, a paragraph, a page, a chapter, and sometimes there are is a person throughout the whole damn BOOK!" That is what life has been like for me and through the inter-weavings of my life i have been struggling to juggle them all. In any case perhaps it is best to just let things be for a while even though i worry if i leave them alone for too long that i might not have a job for the summer. Maybe that is mainly attributed to my paranoia and sense that everyone is scrutinizing me like a bug under the magnifying glass.

Also my uncle is in jail due to the fact that he stabbed my aunt (in-law) with a screw driver.

RELIEF!  That no good of an uncle of mine needs some serious jail time.
At any rate I NEED A LAPTOP! one with wireless capablities.
  

    Everything is really random in my life. haha understatement..! But so far today was an excellent day it had a WoOing charm about it. Tutor training blah,blah,blah...OSHA... Blah, Blah,Blah. So we left early because it was a fire hazard to have that many people at the training because some idiot overbooked it.

The Zelda game for the Ds occupies my time now, that and school which is fun.


Also.. i'm thinking about a minor in theatre. That might suck because its another 38 units.

Also the next time Ms. Regina Spektor comes to town we should see her (we meaning whoever wants to go cause my boyfriend is lame and won't want to take me.)

Random Comment i started working on an old picture that i drew and never finished. i never drew in the background and settled on the park that we used to hang out in, it seemed appropriate. I don't know perhaps i'll give it away after, i just don't know how to feel the whole coloring 'it' thing.

       So that jerk that Dhali was dating in high school is in my art 400 class and i wanna kick his ass, especially cause it took me awhile to realize who he was cause he thinks he is all super cool with his new found facial hair.

This leads me to wonder how my dollface is.... and what she is doing in this world.


i miss her.

Wednesday MAY 21 2008

@ the Wiltern The Dresden Dolls

( Gotta )


EeeeP!



Whose going with me? lol

     So what do you do when you lose your MARIO KART for the DS... grr
And i hate the WEB CT stuff and the whole CSULA web page. And i hate not getting money.






RANT. RANT. RANT.

    So i've been really busy dealing with H.R (Human Resources) aka STUPID! This is all due to the idiocy of my boss who never gave me the hiring packet with the w-4 forms and the whole direct deposit slips and all that junk. not only she was like are you sure i that you didn't sing anything because i think i gave it to you. "THINK" is not for sure and needless to say that three pay periods later i am NOT a happy camper! ( no pun intended) I called them 5 times yesterday and got the whole bureaucratic run-around. Finally today i got some help from a woman in accounts payable to help me because everyone in that downtown office is retarded (....grrF) and she helped me because there is only like one H.R person. ( That's right ... ONE).



Stupid.

    I'm glad its finally over even though they gave me only one check because the couldn't find my other time sheets. But still its something and for people who gotta pay bills its Relief!!!


So see me the amazing Drea at C.S.U.L.A this spring quarter.
subject to availability. must show proof of purchase. valid id required.

Year 2008 Overview


Leo

Dramatic, dynamic and compassionate Leo starts the year working hard to discover new ways to express practical ideals by connecting to inner wisdom. You will realize how everything you do in your life affects the entire world on some level. Feeling a need to change and re-evaluate your personal values and all that you hold sacred has been a regular exercise for you, both personally and financially.

( So true )


So Far so good...

SOOOO tired. 

Working at See's is making me tired and fat.
KIDS= Smelly.
I just want a HAIR CUT!!!




Will post pics!!


SHout out to cardcityrocker.... because he is AWESOME!

It is weird... this part of me that's healing.

I saw a scarf just like mine with a heart patch. I saw some guy toting
around a backpack with a plastic plate that said beefy.
It is an uneasy feeling.


So my NEW tutoring job dealing with horny adolescent
preteens is interesting. I'm learning that i have ALOT more
patience then i ever thought i had. I want to be one of those tutors
that make a difference, one that the kids can relate with/respect/love..etc.

Its like a waiting game to to go to CSULA and just when i thought things
where going to get easier....bumps in the road.


There are bright things in my future, more time will tell just where
all of this is leading me.

Also I want LEGO BATMAN for the DS sooo bad.

Every time i see the octopus i think i want sushi...  is that BAD?