Some Pages Turned, Some Bridges Burned, But There Were Lessons Learned

              So lately i don't know what to do with myself. (Bam, Bam, just don't know what to do with myself.) I feel nervous and lost because i don't have a summer job yet and the fact of the matter is I have bills and a new found love for all objects material. And with my new found D in English 430 (God Help Me!), I have a belly ache that won't quit. Btw, I'm still so upset at that D that i've hiden the paper and have REFUSE to look at it. Meanwhile my friends say that I shouldn't bitch because I have a good relationship and haven't had my heart broken as of lately.
             I've also been partying as of late, to mask the fact that i have no moeny and no job. Not only that the anxiety of going to be planning a wedding in which i have no money but still want to obtain the dream. I know once my future hubby gets in gear with the job hunt and the job we will have the money to put away for that cause. The fact of the matter is that I have been soo independent in this relationship it is going to be difficult to put away the making -money-paying-for-everything-drea. My Defense and pride is being ripped apart in this process so much that it's tearing me apart and causing me undue stress. I realize that for all of my wacky-weirdness I was in a love affair with that freespirited can't tie her down girl and now I feel as though she has an Rest In Peace plaque on top of her metaphorical grave.